First Born/ Second Born/ Third Born




My first and second born boys started school today. The eldest, 3rd grade. Our second born, Kindergarten. The third born is home with me now...napping. It seems so strange to be in a quiet house again. I told my sister-in-law that if she needed me, she could find me out adopting a little baby today. They are all growing up much too quickly. I am not sure my heart can take it.
You may wonder why I am referring to my boys in "first, second and third". That would be because of this book. I have heard over the years mutterings about birth order but hadn't given it much thought or consideration. Last week, at a bookstore, I found this book on the clearance table and brought it home. * Additionally, Dr.Leman has a book titled, The Birth Order Book, that I imagine is just as amazing. *

Initially I bought it to dissect my own "first born/only child" tendencies. (I am an only child to my mom). I am driven, ridiculously hard on myself, critical of my own performance, etc.. Those are the not so great aspects. On the flip side, us first born children are able to accomplish a magnitude of things that generally later born children generally do not (there are always exceptions to these rules). Did you know almost every Astronaut and President was a first born?
Well as I have been diving into this book I am realizing how much it will and already has begun to transform my parenting. If you are a parent, get one of Dr. Leman's books. If you have children, one of them is inevitably a first born and more than one child means you will have a "middle child (or children) and there will probably be a "baby". The book studies each of these and has challenged my parenting on a whole new level.

I really do see the boys individuality much clearer now. I am understanding even more why it took Canaan nearly 4 years to learn to ride his bike and it took Ezra 2 days. Canaan would get on the bike and get utterly frustrated that he couldn't learn how to do it on his first or second try. He would become discouraged within 5 minutes and no amount of encouragement and support on our part could change his attitude. Finally, just last week, Canaan took his bike out of the garage, headed to the sidewalk and learned to ride his bike.



Ezra, after watching his brother, asked that his training wheels be taken off. He took his bike to the sidewalk and with a brimming smile started off. He fell...many times, but quickly said "I'm OK" and hopped back on. Within 20 minutes he was beginning to ride and by the next day he was a pro. Dr. Leman shares that second children are much more easy going, happy-go-lucky and not nearly as critical of their own failure. Ezra's only frustration was that his bike was too small for him (which it now is) and was making his riding a bit difficult...to which he said in the most melodramatic tone, "I think my bike is going to give me a heart attack". To which Mike and I laughed for hours afterwards.



This morning as we got ready for the first day of school, Canaan worried over making new friends and remembering to turn in his summer reading homework. A little pep talk that all would be OK and he would pick up right where he left off was enough to ease his mind. Ezra's only concern seemed to be his hair. He stood at the bathroom mirror brushing his hair at least 3 different times in the course of the morning. Finally he came and asked me to brush it and use hairspray. That boys definitely loves to make a good first impression.


And while we are on the topic of kids...an update on Otto. Two words; he's crazy. In the most rambunctious all-boy way, that boy is plain wild. He has a deep gruff voice and runs around jumping on his brothers, sitting on the dog's head pretending he's "riding" like a cowboy (thankfully the dog could care less), throwing whatever he can find, regularly cleaning off my pantry shelves and just an all around bulldozer. Oh how I love this age! Nothing but joy and fun and craziness.

Watching as his brothers go to school. (Gotta love the hole in the screen. Because every screen door needs a pinhole that boys can put their finger through to make bigger and bigger, right? Oh geez...)

6 comments:

  1. Too cute! All of your boys are adorable - and it's awesome that they all have their unique personalities!

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  2. Great post! I love reading books that explain why we are the way we are....so I will definitely be looking for that one in the library. Thanks. And I know what you mean about time flying by when it comes to our kids getting bigger. I think it gets worse as they get older....sigh.
    Funny! You brought back a vivid memory for me, I soooo remember putting my finger through the window screen just like that when I was young!

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  3. Interesting. To be honest, I've tried to steer clear of books that try to explain, and even sometimes define. I'm worried about my own expectations when I read it - will I suddenly try to define the kids a certain way? Am I suddenly explaining something that just my kid's way of doing something with a theory?

    Then again, my oldest is exactly like Canaan on the bike. Exactly. And she is the same way with skating and so many other things. But my youngest is my wild child. Everything her sister is, she is magnified. There is a reason we call her Evil Genius.

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  4. I'm totally with you Cheryl. I never read parenting books. I'd rather "figure out my kids" on my own. With that said, I have found the theory of birth order interesting and I think it will help, if nothing else, remind me that my kids are in fact different. Even during the bike riding experience I refrained from using Ezra's positive attitude as a "teaching moment" for Canaan (i.e. look at what a great attitude Ezra is having...) Instead just focusing on the issue at hand, which is Canaan's frustration with his own failures.
    But yes...in general I steer clear of the psychology of parenting and children ;)

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  5. Great post. I could relate on many levels. Thanks for giving us a peek into your kid's personalities. They are precious!

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  6. How had I never realized our kids were so close (apart!) in age, and temperament? (10, 6 and 3, same difference).

    I've not yet read the birth order book, but really must, as your descriptions of 1, 2 AND 3 match mine to a T!

    Hope your summer's been well, my dear, and that back-to-school has gone off relatively smoothly. I had to laugh at your biking adventures, as we've been (learning) to bike up a storm this past week. The cooler weather, I think...

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